Vyasa Puja offering to Srila Prabhupada 2013

(view 2013 offerings by disciples)

Dear Srila Prabhupada,

Please accept my prostrated obeisances in the dust of your lotus feet.

"It's all your mercy" is common Vaishnava parlance, in the ISKCON world and beyond. This catch-all response can be anything—from routine religious jargon, to heartfelt elegance, to the deepest realisation of one's utter spiritual dependency.

Srila Bhaktivinode Thakura writes in his song to Gurudeva, "When I examine myself, I find nothing of value. Therefore your mercy is essential to me. If you are not merciful, I shall simply weep and weep, and I shall not maintain my life."

I often wondered about how he and, of course, you actually feel this declaration so extraordinarily, as your entire being.

As the years of my insignificant life roll by, I increasingly realise that any perceived faults are all mine, and any credit is all yours. Is this one short life enough to fully grasp at least half the extent of your mercy? What to speak of your disciples, even grand disciples, and their followers testify to your munificence in their life.

During your days with us in the seventies, you once commented that physical association with the guru was for neophytes. I thought at that time,"Well, all glories to the sublime theology of vani-sanga, but so that the physical association with your divine presence will always be mine, let me always remain a neophyte."

Of course, better we hold to what you write in a purport (Cc. Madhya 18.99): “Unless one is enlightened by the knowledge given by the spiritual master, he cannot see things as they are, even though he remains with the spiritual master.”

In 1977, upon your departing the ordinary vision of this world, I was convinced I had failed to attain you. Concluding that any chance for a close relationship with you had left along with your physical presence, I resigned myself to helping the next generation of devotees not to miss out as I had. Vigorously urging your fledgling grand disciples to value the physical presence of their guru with utmost care, I would instruct them to seek every opportunity to have it.

After your departure, the constantly overpowering strains, agonies, and dangers of preaching behind the former Iron Curtain consumed my life—no time to continue lamenting about your disappearance. But during such bleak years there, when the atheistic communists, sure of their permanence, ruled with iron fists of terror their sealed-off kingdoms, your vani association caught this young foolish fugitive-devotee by surprise.

In testimony to your kindness upon even a insignificant jiva, I submit this poem written way back in the eighties, during my Iron Curtain years, for the glorification of your 2013 Vyasa-puja.

 

East Europe Bhajana

Part One (1977)

Sailing with devotees on the ISKCON-Los Angeles sea

hoping His Divine Grace, the captain,

would personally lead me

 

With good faith I endeavored

every day

Sure that his pure glance

would soon cast my way

 

Then he left

though I was still immature

My hopes for his divine sanga

crashed to the floor

 

Too young to have been with him

Too old to forget him

Certainly this was a very precarious situation

 

Alas, come what may . . .

the mission must push on

Maybe in fifty lifetimes . . .

I'll again see his form

 

Part Two (1978-79)

Sailing alone on a most dangerous sea

with no hope that Srila Prabhupada

would come and rescue me

 

My ship is very tiny

yet the ego-mast is tall

I'm completely insignificant

and my service is so small

 

Naturally Srila Prabhupada ignored such a fool

I wasn’t worthy of the chance to be his tool

 

Part Three (1980)

Sailing alone on a most dangerous sea

certain that Srila Prabhupada

will never find me

 

Smash!

 

Down comes the door to my

sealed-off heart

"You can't come in here," I protest

"It's too late to start!"

 

"Surrender to your spiritual master,"

you majestically declare,

"About your rationalizations,

I definitely don't care"

 

Part Four (1982)

Sailing alone on a most dangerous sea

Sometimes does Srila Prabhupada stand

right beside me?

 

Becoming a little eager to serve him

according to his direction

Why does Srila Prabhupada shower

such care and affection?

 

Without his instructions

I'm a useless fool

Maybe one day I can actually

become his tool

 

O Srila Prabhupada!

I write of your mercy out of

great astonishment

Please forgive me, your aspiring servant, for my offenses

 

Since those excruciating days, let us hope that, by your grace, I have made some advancement. Now, more than a quarter century later, this microscopic servitor simply wonders what your real devotees experience—what kind of nectar you shower upon them.

In Sri Caitanya-caritamrita, Adi-lila Chapter 5, Srila Krishnadas Kaviraja Goswami confesses that the attributes of Lord Nityananda, who acted as his guru, impelled him to become a madman writing of Lord Nityananda’s mercy.

Though nothing compared to Kaviraja Goswami, yet according to the measure of our own realizations, why don’t we publicize the merciful presence of Srila Prabhupada in every ISKCON devotee’s life, through his vani-sanga, especially via his books.

The Goswami explains that generally it is not proper to reveal an account as spiritually esoteric as his, “for it should be kept as confidential as the Vedas, yet I shall speak of it to make His mercy known to all.”

Similarly, whether highly advanced or neophyte, let us all broadcast the eternal relevance of Srila Prabhupada’s mercy for all generations of ISKCON devotees.

Clarifying his motivations, Kaviraja Goswami explains: “O Lord Nityänanda, I write of Your mercy out of great exultation. Please forgive me for my offenses.”

He concludes: “Who in this world but Nityänanda could show His mercy to such an abominable person as me?”

Seeking to follow these perfect parampara footsteps, in my imperfect capacity, I end: Who in this world but you, Srila Prabhupada, could show his mercy and kindness to such a guilty transgressor as me?”